Welcoming a New Arrival
Many couples these days are taking time to prepare for the conception of a baby and some wish to mark this preparation with a ceremony along with the folic acid, stopping smoking and drinking. They wish to ensure that the new life that will grow into an individual, has the best possible start.
These ceremonies are best kept between the couple to avoid others asking “Are you expecting yet” but may be celebrated with others who are close to the couple
There is no set format for the ritual, but the aim is to bless the couple who are planning to conceive a child and ask that everything should run smoothly throughout conception and the pregnancy. Those who ascribe to a nature based spirituality may have ways of honouring male and female within their spiritual path and may wish to use these but the way in which the couple choose to honour each other, is a personal choice.
Those who ascribe to a nature based spirituality may wish to call on the aspects of the Divine Reality who represent fertility within their spiritual path and also the elements of air, fire and water and earth with the representation of knowledge, courage, emotion and growth respectively. Those with no formal belief may wish to call on the universe or Mother Earth or “The Great Big What Ever It Is” i.e. Spirit, for blessing.
You may wish to prepare a special shared meal including foods which have properties of fertility (eg nuts) or virility and share a chalice of wine.
A meditation, visualising the meeting of the male and female components and the inception of growth in the combination is also a consideration.
You may wish to anoint each other with perfumed oil, give each other a massage, or just sit quietly together leading perhaps to “doing what comes naturally” (not too soon after a big meal though!) You may wish to complete the ritual with the meal as a grounding. It is obvious that thanks should be given to those from which you have asked blessing.
It is interesting to note that there has been evidence “leaking” from the ritual where it is conducted among others and not only the couple for whom the ritual is performed have found themselves to be expecting!
Once the baby has been conceived, couples often wish to give thanks and again ask for a blessing for the pregnancy. This may be just between the couple or with friends and family Again, honouring the couple and anointing are appropriate, as is a meal. The couple may wish to plant a tree or shrub and nurture it, watching it grow as the baby grows inside the mother. You may wish to light a candle to represent the new life, this could be contained in a lantern kept specially for the baby.
It is appropriate to mention the sad event of miscarriage, when the new life does not come to fruition. It is not enough for the couple when others say “ Oh well, that one wasn’t meant to be”. No matter how early the miscarriage, the couple cherished the new life and it as very real to them.
A ceremony to say “Goodbye” may help in some part to comfort them in their grief. If a tree had been planted at conception the couple may wish to replant it in the countryside where the spirit can be free. A tree in the woodland might be dedicated to the baby and offerings given as thanks for visiting them just for a little while. A meditation to meet the spirit and say goodbye so that in time the couple may move on may also be a comfort. The grief will take time to heal and remember it is not only the mother who feels this grief – it is just as painful for the father, tread gently with him too.
Once the baby has been safely delivered the new parents and grandparents may wish to welcome them.
This is best done after the mother and baby have left hospital, (if it has not been a home birth) perhaps on the day they arrive home. There are many restrictions in hospital – you cannot use candles or incense because of the inflammable gases (this is also a consideration for rituals during labour). In hospital the new mother and baby are not alone and it is only when they arrive home that the enormity of parenthood is realised.
When parents and baby arrive home they might be greeted by the grandparents and other children of the family (if there are any) with presents and representative tokens given to both baby and parents. Tokens for prosperity, wisdom and health are appropriate. The new family may be blessed by those present and the blessings of whichever aspect of the Divine Reality with which the couple work, requested. Thanks should given for the safe arrival of the little one.
The new parents may introduce the baby to everyone assembled, each one giving a token and their blessing in turn. The baby’s lantern may be lit and the baby introduced to the tree or shrub that was planted at their conception.
Please note that mother and baby may be tired and the family may wish to be alone to recover their equilibrium before such a ceremony is performed. This is a time of adjustment for all concerned and the timing of this ceremony should be left to the decision of the new parents.
LifeRites has a network of Registered Celebrants who will be happy to conduct and/or advise on specific or general ceremonies where the individual does not wish to do this themselves. If you wish to request this service, please write to the address on the front of this leaflet, enclosing a stamped, self addressed envelope. Please give as much information as to your spiritual path (if appropriate), location and date of the ceremony.