So there we were, running a small restaurant - morning coffee, lunch & dinner. At the same time we were trying to run a 23-acre farm - conclusion - not enough money, not enough hours in the day, burning the candle at both ends, etc. So what do we do next?
How about a Pet Cemetery? You can work from home, we have many animals, it must be needed especially for people in towns and flats with no gardens.
So, off to the local council offices... "I want to start a Pet Cemetery, what do I do?" After having been sent from one department to another with each one thinking that they were dealing with a nutter - eventually they discovered a few rules and regulations and after 12 months we obtained planning permission for a Pets Crematorium.
During this time we had visited a very big Pets Crematorium at Cambridge to see if we could stomach doing the job and we found that dealing with dead pets was like dealing with an empty shell who's contents had spirited away. Then we visited a manufacturer in Leeds where we met 'Sponky' our incinerator who was duly dispatched to Rose Farm.
So - after a very tense day unloading an incinerator off a lorry and onto a fork lift truck (which fell forward, nearly killing the lorry driver!) and into the place made ready, an ashen-faced driver was heard to say on the 'phone, "What sort of Mickey Mouse job have you sent me on?"
We had planned our memorial gardens and bought 2 stone dog statues and put down a pathway so people could avoid any mud on the farm. All of this had attracted a fair amount of publicity from the local papers and the local radio station all of which made people think about the service we were to provide and to get used to the idea. Over the following years we gradually increased our business, serving more and more vets - cremating the pets left with them and scattering their ashes in our developing memorial gardens where people could place memorial plaques.
We learned a great deal about grief and how desperately important peoples' pets are to them and on losing them, many folk lose their reason for getting up each day, often their reason for living. We realised that many times pets represent the last link between a former partner or child and when that animal dies a mass of grief that had been restrained can be set free.
We listened to many a tragic story and wondered how some people have so much bad luck all at once. We also discovered that the very people who thought us 'a bit odd' to do what we do were extremely pleased that we were able to help them when their own pets died. In fact the last 12 years has taught us a great deal about how people behave when coping with death.
During this time many people had expressed a wish to end their days in our lovely surroundings with their pets, rather than in a traditional cemetery and as I am intending to be buried with my horse and my husband in our gardens, why should we not provide the same service for other people.
So off we go again...
We visit a green burial site in Brighton and have a great deal of help from a man from the local council-run cemetery. I contacted the Natural Death Centre and learned from their handbook. I attended a seminar at Kensal Green Cemetery and did as much research as possible.
It was necessary to get a certificate of lawfulness (as we already had permission to bury animals on the proposed site). At this point we had an unhappy experience with neighbours (and we thought friends) who were totally opposed to what we had in mind and had been doing an amount of ‘negative’ chatting with other locals. This was a painful experience when you cannot understand the reaction of some people to what you see as perfectly logical and normal. It was difficult to grasp statements such as, “I don’t want to have to reverse down the lane for funeral processions”, “I don’t want funeral processions going past my window” or “we have been told our property will go down in value if you do this”, etc, etc. The whole episode proved so upsetting, causing such a giant rift with our neighbours, that we withdrew the application before it went to the planning committee.
2 years later, our neighbours decided to move and we decided to start the ball rolling once again.
I took advice and decided to go for full planning permission. We were told that access was the issue as we live down a single-track road. One solution was to improve the junction from our road to the main road by moving a hedge back by about a metre. The hedge in question belonged to an elderly furniture restorer who lived alone and was a bit of a recluse.
The planning officer and I went to him and explained the problem, showed him the plans and that we were happy to pay for the improvement (which would in fact help all the people who use the road). We also explained that all of this should cause very little inconvenience to him, as everything would be put back as before – just moved a little.
At first he was in agreement and all was put in writing and sent to him. Then – he questioned the proposal having been given some untrue information about me “having claim to his land” if we paid for the improvement. The poor man became totally confused and wanted no more to do with the whole thing having been bombarded with negative information from local objectors.
So, rather than upset him any further, we withdrew the plans again in August 1998.
Time passed. We were not best pleased with our local ‘objector to everything’ who had done so much to upset this gentle but confused man.
In late November, this poor man was found ‘hanged’ in his home. I am sure that the hassle that he had experienced from a certain local had not helped with his obvious delicate mental state. Our upset turned to anger and we experienced many feelings alien to our normal ways.
Another year passed and the feeling that I must see this thing through grew stronger. After one brief conversation with the new owner of the property I realised that IO was going to get no co-operation from him, so I decided to just apply for planning permission anyway and see what happened – taking it to its final conclusion whatever that may be.
Meanwhile I had met Cassandra, the local Pellar who was delighted with our proposals, as, being a Pagan and having many friends who, like her, wished to be buried in a woodland setting such as ours. I told her about all the problems and set-backs that we had encountered and she said that she “would see what she could do” on the following full moon.
Due to the applications in the local paper, we had plenty of publicity, not only in the local press, but also television and radio – and for a pleasant change, letters of support and even a petition of seventeen signatures, which proved to be most important at the council meeting. With this boost to our morale, we decided that we would fight on and what would be, would be.
It came to the Big Day – the planning meeting. Before the meeting I had sent each member of the committee a letter explaining why I wanted the permission, what it would entail and asking for their support. Dressed in our best suits, we listened intently to an evening of various planning applications. Then came our turn…
With hearts pounding we heard the ‘fors’ and ‘againsts’, the worries and the concerns (one councillor said that he had ‘Grave Concerns’ about the application!). After much discussion and a lot of help from the petition and the chairman – we got it! After 3 years. At long last.
I then spoke to Cassandra and asked her when would a good time be to hold a seminar on ‘death and everything’ that I was going to call “Earth 2 Earth 2000”. We decided that 26th March would be a good date as this was the beginning of British Summer Time – new beginnings, Spring, etc.
This now gave me a date to work towards to do the necessary research and contact any interested parties for the seminar. This is how, thanks to the help and support from Cassandra and other friends that I came into contact with LifeRites, The Guild of Soul Midwives and other interesting and delightful, caring people.
This whole episode was a good learning curve and has been very satisfying to find that there are good people out there who do care about others.
On the day that I write this, we have just sold our first plot to a lovely couple for her aged mother. So plot number 1A is reserved forever for a very important person, shall we call her our first, potential, guest!
The general response of the people that we have talked to and shown around the site has been so favourable that we are absolutely thrilled. It has been worth the struggle and I am sure that it was meant to be. The time is right and I am sure that it will develop into the beautiful and tranquil woodland that I always envisaged.
For more information on Penwith Green Burial Place see their web site