Let me explain why as a Lawyer I have written an article on the rapidly disappearing rite of the family meal. This all started when our LifeRites group decided that we were going to sit down to eat our meals together. This was to encourage the bonding process and to instil a sense of community by having the table laid for a communal meal, instead of people hiving off into little groups dinner plates balanced on their laps. The relaxing of boundaries and defences that comes with the sharing of food is important insofar as it encourages trust within the working group
Where did this widely practiced ritual of communal eating originate? The “ritual” of setting the table and sitting down to eat the evening meal is one that dates back to early man. It was a time when the hunter/gatherers had returned with food for the whole community that was shared and eaten together by the hearth-fire. This was the centre of community life. It was also the birth place of society as we know it. Humans are social beings and eating and sharing with others is the interaction of social culture and behaviour. Even today in certain cultures such as the North West Pacific Coast Tribes if a hunter does not share his kill with other members of the community he is ostracised.
The ancient “civilised” world left murals
depicting communal eating and celebratory banquets for
rites of passage or religious festivals. The early
Christians gathered together for
a celebratory love feast (“Agape”
– brotherly love rather than “Eros”) this
was thought to be the forerunner of the Eucharist. The
“love feast” was a common meal celebrated with
hymns and prayers where each brought a contribution to the
meal according to what they could afford. Many sections of
society gather together to share food and celebrate rites
of passage births deaths marriages bar mitzvahs, bat
mitzvahs etc. Others gather at varying times as the Wheel
of the Year turns to celebrate festivals Yule, Christmas
etc. All are celebrated by ritual and feasting. Freemasons
gather together and after their rituals share a common
meal.
In society today the evening meal is probably the only meal of the day where all the family is present but this does not necessarily mean that they all sit down to eat together. Where this does happen, the dining table becomes the place where the whole family discusses important issues, and solutions to family problems are worked out in a loving supportive atmosphere. The dining table is where friends gather in times of sorrow or celebration. With a group such as LifeRites it is important to develop close bonds that go beyond friendship as we need to unreservedly trust our co-workers to be there as confidants, as friends and as colleagues.
Firstly my heritage is both Celtic and Jewish added to this I have had a long and happy marriage to a Scottish Celt. With this background it is no wonder that the kitchen has always been the Heart of my home and my first reaction when any guest enters our home is "sit down, EAT". My fondest memories are of times spent with loved ones in the kitchen performing the ritual of preparing and eating these meals and by so doing creating the ties of unselfish love that bind a family together.
In today’s society, much of this nurturing, loving and caring preparation is taken for granted. We now exist in an instant and microwaveable world where family traditions have little or no place and far too many meals are eaten off of a tray in front of the television. My home is where family (both close and extended) and friends gather together in love and happiness as well as the place where the assembled throng prepare the meals as my husband, Alisdair, and children, Johanna and David, not forgetting my wonderful son-in law, Michaelo and most of my friends and extended family know well.
We use a variety of traditions, Yiddish recipes that I remember making with my mother, grandmother and great grandmother and have been passed down for generations. Some of the recipes are historical. As a family we have spent many happy times re-enacting various historical periods with many friends. Many recipes we use on a regular basis have been given by friends and relations from all over the world and these are used with love, respect and gratitude. Using them reminds me of “absent friends” and brings them closer.
My family, both close and extended, and myself hope that by sharing these thoughts you will create your own traditions for your own celebrations. May you create a web of loving happy memories for the next generation to carry into the future for the greatest of all magics is love.
May The Goddess and Her Consort, The Horned God guide This Earth Walk. May You Walk in Their Steps, remembering that all things are connected.
Sorcher Nan Rual